I remember coming on here every single night wondering what I did wrong, what did I do to deserve this pain, how do I express my feelings to a computer? Man, those were some tough nights. I’ll admit, looking back now, they were itty bitty problems that I made into big problems. It actually made me look pretty pathetic. I’m really ashamed of how I acted and I’m always embarrassed to go back into my old posts and read about what I was going through. I remember thinking no one would ever want me or how I would never find someone again. Wow was I an emotional train wreck. It makes me feel pretty good looking back now though. How I learned from those mistakes, how it actually made me into the person I am today, how it got me out of my comfort zone and how it encouraged me to try new things. If it weren’t for things that happened in the past, then I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I can honestly thank my past for all it has done for me because everything that happened then made me realize what I need to do now. I remember feeling out of place, like I didn’t have a role. I don’t feel like that anymore. I have big things coming up for me next year and I’m pretty excited, it’ll be a lot of work, but I know I can do it. I don’t want to go back to being that love sick girl who felt bad for herself. I refuse to go back to feeling like I was never good enough like no one would ever like me. And if I ever do go back to that point in my life, then I pray that I’ll get through it once again. If you fall down seven times, stand up eight.
tagged as: Thoughts. Update.